#CoupleGoals what couples goals actually looks like to me
We've all seen on Instagram those couple using the famous #couplegoals hashtag... But reality can be very different from what you actually see online. Here are 7 actual couple goals in my opinion:
It may sound absolutely ridiculous, but do you know how many people are in relationships without being in love? Like actually head over heels in love for their partners... A LOT. I wish for everyone to be confident enough not to have to settle down for anyone, when we all have someone out there willing to love us and appreciate us, as we are.
The gift of radical honesty is honestly (no pun intended) the second most important thing you can ask for in a relationships, and any type of relationship really. I call it a gift because the truth is a powerful & magnificent thing, and for someone to be able to be truly honest with you, they have to be comfortable enough and trust you to tell you their truth. Regardless of what the truth is. It is always better to know.
Before being able to feel safe in the relationship, each person needs to be at peace and feel safe within themselves. Choose someone who's going to witness & celebrate your evolution while reminding you that you are safe with them and around them.
And I am not talking about sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is amazing in all sorts of ways, but I am talking about intimacy in the larger sense. In the sense of being able to be your true self, of being vulnerable, of being confident with your mind and your body and feel supported and loved unconditionally. (sex is even better when you get all of those trust me)
No matter how much you love them, you have to remind yourself that your main priority is yourself, that it was just you at the beginning and it will only be yourself at the end. Being your own person and staying true to yourself regardless of the relationship is very important. You can only love someone as deeply as you love yourself.
Today, as in August 2019, I would never go in any loving relationship if my partner didn't do "the work" on themselves prior to us. When I say work, I mean therapy, I mean healing generational trauma, I mean ending circles. I have started doing the work on myself over 10 years ago now, with multiple therapies and literally everything you can think of and I would feel very much on a different page (if not a different book) if this person didn't do any of it. I want to continue the journey with my partner but I wouldn't want to start over.
Living your true self can require to be accountable and no one can do it better than the person you share your life with.
Consciously creating a life together, with someone sharing your values is the absolute must. Do not settle down, do not stay in relationships where you have to continuously have to question the other person, do not stay if you feel like you're giving more than what you get in return, do not stay if you are not in love.